Interdependence refers to how much you need dependency or a “couple identity” with your partner. You are moderately interdependent in a relationship. This means that you desire a good degree of physical and emotional connection with a partner. And you absolutely are drawn to someone whom you can respect and even emulate to some degree. In fact, it is quite common for a person in this score range to consider how your romantic partner would reflect on your family and friends. This all does not mean that you do not need personal space now and then; nearly everyone values being unique and different from others in some respects. However, people in this range draw strength, comfort and a strong sense of identity from their close relationships. Thus, when you feel close to someone this person becomes an extremely important part of who you are on the inside and outside. You probably prefer that you and your partner’s recreational activities be shared together since you like having your partner physically close and you desire showing off your “couplehood” in public.

Bottom line: you need someone who likes frequent physical and emotional connection like you do, but who helps keeps dependency in check in the relationship so that you two do not lose your identities as individuals.

Next, Plenty of Fish presents some customized probing questions to use “as is” or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your “interdependency” needs with potential partners:

How much time away from a lover do you think you need in a given week? – and what kinds of things do you like to do for yourself during your free time?

What really makes a date or any time with a partner truly special for you?

Intimacy refers to the how much you need emotional closeness with your partner. You are clearly comfortable with giving and receiving emotional intimacy. You long for emotional closeness and security with a special person, and you tend to be open with a partner in return. That openness includes lessons learned from your past experiences and relationships, extending trust, believing your partner returns your feelings and devotion and being generally comfortable with surrendering yourself to a partner. In fact, you probably would feel uncomfortable if there were serious secrets between you and your partner. Likewise, you probably regard a partner as your best friend and your foremost confidant. There is likely no hesitation discussing current problems or concerns with that person. It also seems that you have realistic expectations for a committed relationship. However, you may find yourself wondering whether your partner’s feelings are equally as strong as yours. Still, people in this scoring range are willing to take the risks associated with being vulnerable on many levels.

Bottom line: you need someone who desires and reciprocates intimacy as much as you do.

Next, Plenty of Fish presents some customized probing questions to use “as is” or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your “intimacy” needs with potential partners:

Do you think couples should always be open and honest with each other, or are there things that it is okay to hold back?

Can you talk and share on an intimate level as well as you listen to a friend in need?

Self-Efficacy refers to your self-image, stability of mood and level of motivation. People at your scoring level feel assertive and expressive most of the time and strive to maintain a positive attitude. You likely find that having plans and structured goals help motivates and guides your personal and professional development. Many people in this scoring range are visionary in their ambitions, but they can be highly self critical. Indeed, you are likely to be acutely aware of your own strengths and weaknesses. Therefore, it probably helps for you to hear praise and recognition, as well as have measurable goals and benchmarks in order to feel competent in your decisions and actions and to achieve a strong sense of accomplishment.

Bottom line: you need someone who is extremely supportive of your goals by showing patience and a positive outlook and who also frequently acknowledges and praises your small and large accomplishments.

Next, Plenty of Fish presents some customized probing questions to use “as is” or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your “self-efficacy” needs with potential partners:

Do people need to fish for compliments from you, or are you the kind of person who frequently gives spontaneous acknowledgements and praise to others?

What are the most important responsibilities in a friendship?

Do you think success in life is largely a matter of good organization or largely a matter of luck?

Relationship Readiness refers to how prepared you are emotionally, psychologically and pragmatically for a committed relationship. In some ways, you may not be fully ready for a committed relationship. You seem to feel a fair degree of comfort and grounding in your life right now. In fact, most people in this range have a clear vision and a sense of purpose for their life. They also feel in control, but sometimes that sense of control can be fleeting or a false sense of security. For example, it is often the case that people in this scoring range need to address unresolved issues that can interfere with them having the life and relationship they want. These could be financial or legal issues or even physical, emotional or health issues. It may also be the case that you are seeking a relationship primarily to fill a void in your life or to gain a feeling of acceptance and belonging that was weakened or lost due to other relationships that ended or disappointed you.

Bottom line: you need someone who will be patient and supportive as you figure out your needs rather than who will rush the relationship prematurely.

Next, Plenty of Fish presents some customized probing questions to use “as is” or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your “relationship readiness” needs with potential partners:

What are the most important responsibilities you have to a romantic partner?

Do you feel offended or rejected when a partner asks for time, space or privacy to take care of some personal business?

Communication refers to your approach to interpersonal interactions and level of emotional intelligence. Effective communicators have strong emotional intelligence, and you seem to have an excellent level of emotional intelligence. It is expected that you show considerable tolerance of ambiguity and emotional expression. You have the capacity for being extremely sensitive to other’s feelings and to their body language. Those who know you well would probably describe you as patient and eager to listen to others. People in this scoring range are also not afraid of making or admitting to mistakes. They consistently and bravely show vulnerability to others. In fact, they are keenly aware how their behaviour impacts others. You can communicate your needs and feelings honestly when someone engages you directly, but you may not always take the initiative to be assertive with others. In this sense, it is likely that you seek to understand others, rather than seek for others to understand you.

Bottom line: you need someone who will not put up emotional barriers when you seek to understand his/her thoughts and feelings, but rather will communicate with you intimately and candidly.

Next, Plenty of Fish presents some customized probing questions to use “as is” or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your “communication” needs with potential partners:

Do you find it difficult to trust a romantic partner completely? Explain

Would you feel uncomfortable telling your partner about things in the past of which you felt ashamed?

Conflict Resolution refers to your stress management and problem solving skills. Effective conflict resolution has nine general elements: View Conflict as Positive; Address Conflict in the Proper Atmosphere; Clarify Perceptions; Note Needs, not wants; Draw on the Power of a Positive Partnership; Focus on the Future, then learn from the past; Identify Options for Mutual Gain; Develop ‘Doables’ or stepping stones to action; and Make Mutually-Beneficial Agreements. Your score indicates that you are fairly strong on all of these basic elements, except for Making Mutually-Beneficial Agreements. This suggests that you are very flexible and action-oriented when addressing problems, yet not so eager to find resolution that you settle for quick, temporary agreements. Settling on a temporary agreement is often a way of avoiding conflict, and it can lead to needs not being met. You do not seem to avoid conflict; instead you appear to evaluate the possible solutions and then actively engage your partner to work on a positive outcome for the relationship.

Bottom line: you need someone who will join you in taking time to find a complete and genuine resolution to issues as opposed to avoiding conflict by settling for quick, temporary agreements.

Next, Plenty of Fish presents some customized probing questions to use “as is” or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your “conflict resolution” needs with potential partners:

Does it help you to solve problems by thinking of your own past experiences and knowledge in new ways?

In your experience, does knowing too much about a problem hinder or help you resolve it?

Sexuality refers to your needs (frequency, boundaries, expressions) related to physical intimacy. Scientific models of love and attachment always include physical chemistry and sexuality. It is a crucial topic for any couple to address, because it involves issues of control and vulnerability. People at your scoring level have a fairly good sense of their sexual orientation, preferred sexual activities and comfort level. In fact, people in this range are characterized sexually as liking the focus on themselves and maintaining control. This does not mean that you are not concerned with satisfying your partner; indeed you can be quite passionate. It simply means that you probably put your own sexual needs first more often than not. Those sexual needs are perhaps best described as fairly conservative compared to most other people, yet you are no prude. You are confident in your own sexual ability and are likely open to try various activities as long as they sound appealing to you. Therefore, you may be less inclined to new experiences if they are only intended to please your partner. You tend to be open when talking to your partner about your needs, and you certainly tend not to be self conscious in the bedroom itself. For people in this range, sex can be casual, but they strive for it to be always fun and romantic.

Bottom line: you need someone who sees sex as romantic and fun and especially who will like to be submissive to your sexual desires.

Next, Plenty of Fish presents some customized probing questions to use “as is” or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your “sexual” needs with potential partners:

Where do you think most of your ideas and values about sex originated?

If you felt safe, do you think you would do almost anything to please your partner sexually?

Attitudes Toward Love refers to your level of needs for romantic love and friendship love. There are two main types of love – Romantic Love and Companionate Love. Romantic Love is passionate, emotional and intense, whereas Companionate Love is a deep, affectionate attachment. People feel these two types of loves to different degrees in a relationship, and the levels of each can fluctuate over time. You scored as someone who may be best described as “a “hopeless romantic on the inside and a realist on the outside.” This means that you value very highly both the safety, security and comfort of Companionate Love and the excitement and passion of Romantic Love. You desire someone who is on the same wavelength as you –sharing similar attitudes, moods and impulses. You are a clearly a hybrid, and someone who probably views love as a transcendent thing. That is, you regard true love as a precious and rare state that must be nurtured to grow and thrive. Most people in this scoring range believe that a passionate sex life is not the most important factor in a stable and satisfying relationship. Rather, a relationship must be nurtured with acceptance and compete connectedness with a partner – a couple building and possessively protecting their “own world.”

Bottom line: You need someone whose highest priority is your relationship and is willing to do the hard work to keep a transcendent level of love alive in the relationship.

Next, Plenty of Fish presents some customized probing questions to use “as is” or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your “love attitude” needs with potential partners:

When you are separated from a partner, does the rest of the world often seem dull and unsatisfying?

Do you think that a person must have great confidence in his/her partner’s judgment in order for the relationship to work?

Preferred Expressions of Affection refers to your likes and dislikes for different ways a partner can express love and devotion. There are many ways in which people show affection to their loved ones: physical touch, doing favours, spending time together, giving gifts or communicating love through words. Statistically, you gave higher weighted ratings to Actions.

Bottom line: You need someone who can express affection through simple or grand acts of kindness – such as helping you out around the house, running errands for you or doing favours without being asked.

Next, Plenty of Fish presents some customized probing questions to use “as is” or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your “affection” needs with potential partners:

Have you offered to throw a party for someone? – if so, why did you take on that responsibility?

What are some things you have done for other people that they would say were the most thoughtful?

Out of the various modes of expressing affection, Gifts received lower weighted ratings from you.

Bottom line: This does not mean that you neither like nor need Gifts. Rather, it suggests that you need someone who can show affection in ways other than just giving you tangible surprises – such as gifts s/he makes, souvenirs purchased on business trips or expensive presents that commemorate special occasions.

Next, Plenty of Fish presents some customized probing questions to use “as is” or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your “affection” needs with potential partners.

Is it difficult for you to come up with personalized gift ideas for loved ones?

Do you think giving gifts is really just an attempt to buy someone’s affection?